Let’s start with a quick story…

Once upon a time, I had a family photo session with a little boy who was NOT FEELING IT! He was shy, nervous, possibly sleepy and definitely not in the mood to be cheerful and happy for a stranger to take his photo. Now, of course, everyone in the family had just worked really hard to get out the door and get to this session. Stresses were a little high when this little boy showed us no mercy with his cooperation. But the thing is, it had only been FIVE MINUTES and mom & dad started to lose their cool a little. They started showing frustration by taking deep annoyed breaths, putting pressure on the boy (“Hurry so we can be done”), tossing out little threats (“Okay, well I guess your’e not part of our family if your not in the picture”-“Well, your sister is getting ice cream after and you’re not because you won’t take your picture” etc) …and THINGS. FELL. APART.

The kid stuck his heels in, and was too upset to recover. He couldn’t be positive, because so many negatives had just been thrown at him….it actually soured his mood further and gave this family photographer a bigger hole to dig him out of…

Now, I am not judging these parents AT ALL. I have certainly thrown a slew of threats at my children a time or ten when they were not cooperating. BUT over the years, I have learned that when working in a limited time frame and trying to get children to behave/cooperate, less is MORE!

KEEP a laid back attitude- KIDS WILL BE KIDS

Here’s what I would have liked to have seen happen instead at this family session….and what I have actually witnessed work time and time again…

Don’t let you child’s lack of cooperation get to you; ignore, divert, distract. If your kids are feelin’ clingy, hold and snuggle them. If they want to complain, have them look at something cool around the session area (Oh my gosh, did you see that rabbit!?). If they are a little ornery and busy, let them be! This means they are trying to have fun, and that’s what I want! I will totally redirect if I need to. I will give you prompts to play with your children and after they start to feel more comfortable, and see that YOU and relaxed and having fun, they WILL come around.

Your language sets the mood for your child. So….

…INSTEAD OF “Hurry up so we can be done.” TRY “I can’t wait to play with you!”

…INSTEAD OF: “I guess you don’t want to be part of this family” TRY “Let’s go have a treasure hunt!”

…INSTEAD OF: “You don’t get ice cream then” TRY “Are you excited for ice cream after we’re done?!”

Your CHILD'S normal behavior is not a “MISBEHAVIOR” to me!

Let me give you some examples of things parents see as a misbehavior’s and try to correct, even though it actually is making their family session BETTER!

Silly faces instead of nice smiley ones (Guess what usually comes RIGHT after the silly face? Yup, you got it! A happy, genuine smile or giggle)
Young ones running away or trying to get down (corralling NEVER leads to happy toddlers)
Jumping, Wiggling, Talking to me instead of posing ( I WANT you kiddo to be comfortable enough to talk to me!)
Getting silly with other siblings (I mean, it’s real life right!?)

I completely understand, as a parent, wanting your children to act on point. I have felt the embarrassment of the “good ol’ child behavior expectations game”. But, this is not a formal event, and as long as your children are not being violent or vulgar, I am here for all of the behaviors.

ALSO, your kids faces are adorable no matter what they are doing with them!

Your face however, is NOT so cute when it’s mad, annoyed, frustrated and always checking on the kids to make sure they are acting perfectly.

Let me explain…

Silly kid faces: cute.

Running laughing faces: cute.

Grumpy pouty faces: also cute.

Seriously, 99% of the things your kids do when they’re just being kids is really freakin’ cute.

SO WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?

Really, the instructions are so simple that they can actually be hard. I want parents to smile, relax, and enjoy your kids being kids instead of worrying about their behavior. When you go with the flow and un-ruffle those feathers, your family session will be amazing AND authentic, which is what I’m all about.

AS ELSA SAYS - LET IT GO!

Kid doesn’t want to wear their fancy shoes - kick em off!

Toddler doesn’t want held - chase ‘em around and tickle ‘em instead!

Siblings don’t want to be lovey dovey - let ‘em be silly!

More fun & laughter = less resistance from your kids and you will feel so much better when the session is over.

AND I PROMISE… even though my sessions may feel a little unstructured at times, you will get beautiful images from your session BECAUSE I refuse session rigidity. Being put in pose after pose is BORING, and kids hate it. Let’s mix it up and have some fun!